Keeping the Peace

Your tiny tots have grown into teenagers, and you’re delighted by their steady technical and artistic development as dancers. With that growth, however, come new problems. When students of different age groups—all with varying levels of commitment and outlooks on life—combine into one class or performance group, the potential for conflict increases. Factor in hormones and the stresses of school, dance, family and college, and suddenly petty disagreements can erupt into full-blown fights over attention, friends or class placement.

“If the girls get into a little fight at school, they may blow it off by the [next day],” explains Diana Gebhardt, owner and artistic director of Step By Step in Millstone Township, New Jersey. “But because they have to see each other again at dance that night, it lingers.” Whatever the cause of your students’ bickering, it can be harrowing to deal with. After all, fights between your dancers not only affect those directly involved, but disrupt and split up class as well. And if students aren’t unified they won’t perform as a cohesive group. Here are a few ways to help everyone get along and be respectful.

Nip It in the Bud
The best way to avoid drama is to take action before it even starts. At the beginning of the year, spell out what is and is not acceptable at your studio. “It’s like preventive medicine,” says Jill Sinn, owner and director of Dance Arts Centre in Eden Prairie, Minnesota. “Our strategy is to be proactive and create an environment where the commitment to the studio is really clear. I’m not willing to have people who create negative energy over and over again.”

Sinn suggests sitting down with students early on to determine some common goals. “As a team, talk about the action steps,” she says. Fostering group unity in the pursuit of a shared objective, such as placing at competition or performing a certain move in the recital, can establish a bond that will hopefully last throughout the year. For Cheryl Gilger, owner and director of Revolution Dance Company in Midvale, Utah, it’s important to continue these conversations on a regular basis. “We have discussions weekly with our students,” she notes. “My partner and I constantly talk about what we have to do to keep them together.”

Welcome the New Kids
If your studio is still in its fledgling stage, you may avoid the pitfalls common among groups of students who have danced together for years. However, you’ll have to contend with different issues, such as helping new students fit in. Take a cue from Diana Reichardt, owner and director of Dance Evolutions Inc. in Tarpon Springs, Florida: “I remind my students that they were once new, so please go up to a new person and say, ‘Hi, my name is so-and-so and I know everybody—let me introduce you.’”

It’s important to establish a good foundation and set a precedent for the future. Reichardt suggests offering an amusing or interesting fact about new students to help everyone get to know each other. “I always bring up something positive about them so the other kids will be inquisitive,” she says. Organizing a company sleepover or fundraising activity can also help everyone get acquainted.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
If you’re working hard at bringing your dancers together as a strong unit, you may be tempted to step in whenever you see or hear anything negative. Don’t! Like all teenagers, your dancers will have squabbles, possibly quite often, that don’t require your interference.

“Know your students and how they behave with each other,” says Gebhardt. “Then you can pinpoint the girls who are always fighting but are over it in five minutes, and the ones who it really affects.” She notes that it’s best to stay out of the problems between the girls who tend to have frequent issues, but that it’s a good idea to step in when one of your more vulnerable students becomes involved. But overall, it’s important to let your dancers work out the small things and develop strong problem-solving skills—they will come in handy when larger arguments arise.

Breaking Up Battles
Despite your best efforts, very few studios are problem-free when it comes to student disagreements. So, what do you do when you notice gossiping or teasing in class? “I stop and give a general talk,” Gebhardt says. “I’ll say, ‘I see a lot of tension and you need to leave it outside of the dance room.’” If it escalates, Gebhardt suggests continuing the discussion in private with the girls involved. “Tell them [their behavior] is not acceptable and they’re not setting a good example for their peers,” she advises. “Explain that the way they view the older girls is the way the younger ones are viewing them, and they’ll want to set just as good an example as the girls they look up to.”

Reichardt offers a unique approach to solving an ongoing conflict between two girls—give them a duet. “That way, they have to work it out,” she explains. “If they’re given a project to do together, they have to communicate.” You can also find other ways to have those students work as a team, such as pairing them up to help another dancer.

Dealing with Parents
Sometimes, parents may unwittingly exacerbate problems between your students. It’s important to reach out to them as well—make it clear that the drama needs to stop with them. Gilger suggests advising them not to put much stock in their child’s complaints when they get in the car at the end of a long rehearsal, adding that she tells students, “Don’t say anything. If you’re still upset in the morning, then talk to your parents or the teacher.” She finds that this strategy helps to eliminate the petty fights that would usually be forgotten the next day had a parent not gotten involved.

“With the same group night after night, small things are amplified because they’re in a little bubble and they’re constantly together,” she explains. “I [remind them,] ‘Do you remember what bothered you a year ago today?’ Most of them can’t.” This tactic can help students put things in perspective and keep their focus on what’s important. Reichardt takes it a step further by making her moms and dads an active part of the solution: “I tell my company parents, ‘You are the heartbeat of the school, and if you hear people gossiping, it’s your job to diffuse it right away.’ I don’t want or need the negativity.”

Instructing teenagers is never easy, and despite the best efforts and intentions, problems are bound to arise. But prevention can be the best medicine. As Reichardt puts it, “Pay equal attention to all of your kids, and the animosity sometimes doesn’t even come out.”

Jennifer Anderson is a writer and dance teacher in New Brunswick, NJ.